(CNN)In honor of the Oscars, this story will be 7,633 words long, padded out with flowery phrases and belabored metaphors, leavened with a surprise adjective or two and summed up by a yawning and expected conclusion. Just kidding. Well, at least about the number of words. We can't promise anything about the rest. But that's the thing about the Oscars. So much of what they present (and represent) is predictable: amusement and pageantry, self-importance about the role of movies and occasional stretches of dullness. (Well, there ARE 24 awards to give out.) Still, you never know when the show will surprise -- and even entertain. This year, for the 87th Academy Awards, the "entertainment" portion...
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